Living Arrows Christian Academy

That's the name I chose for our homeschool a few years ago. I never intended to have a name, but my record keeping software asked for one, so I decided I needed one. This will probably surprise many of you, but when it comes to naming things or being clever with names, I have zero creativity. But, as I prayed and read scripture, this is the name that came to me. Because I want to raise my children to be living arrows, shot out into the broken world to wound the enemy and bring hope and life and joy through the Gospel to the world. Oh, how I pray each of us play some small role in drawing even one soul to Christ. May our lives declare His truth, even if we never speak a word. Father, let us see how every lesson, every hard school day, is worth it because it points us to You and gives us the skills and abilities to declare Your truth to others in any way You ask.

Thank you all for praying so diligently for our school room. The Lord is answering those prayers! God is truly redeeming this room. In the past, we've done school wherever we felt like for the day. For two months after Kevin's death school was on my bed. Every.day. We've never really had a set place. Honestly, I wasn't really sure we'd be able to adjust to having a set place. I was afraid we'd have this beautiful new room and still end up on my bed or the couch or the dining room table for school. BUT GOD has done a marvelous thing; my kids can hardly do school anywhere other than our school room. I set them down somewhere else to work on school and they can't focus or remember anything. They walk into that room and head to their desk and it's almost magical the way they come alive and hit their books hard. I still pray every day for a passion for learning, reading, and sharing Christ through all they learn and each day I am seeing little glimpses of that. Which is so good and much needed because this grieving momma still has a bit of a foggy brain, very little energy, and has actually fallen asleep reading to them once or twice. I need every little bright spot I can get!

Just in case you haven't seen on Facebook, I wanted to be sure all you prayer warriors who have been lifting up our room:

Confessions of a Mediocre (at best) Homeschooling Mom

I hope this post will make you smile, take a deep breath, and see that things aren't as scary or as overwhelming as they may first seem when taking on the task of homeschooling your children. If this is your first year, know that there are many ups and downs, but if I can do it and keep my kids alive, so can you! If you're a veteran, you've probably lived all this and more! Sit back, enjoy reading, have a few laughs, and start a list of all the things you can praise God for, even if today was the worst school day you've ever had!

--My kids make their own breakfasts probably 4 days a week. Once, maybe twice, a week I make them a nice, homemade breakfast (which they usually don't want to eat), but other than that it's cereal, pop tarts, toast, and frozen waffles. This used to really stress me out (and still does at times), but I was wearing myself ragged trying to come up with the perfect, healthy breakfast for my kids and I just couldn't do it. I hope to one day be a little more prepared and get things together the night before and give them stellar breakfasts, but today is not that day. For today, we're striving for all being at the breakfast table at the same time, enjoying the independence of my kids being able to make their own food, laughing at the creativity of my kids as we chat during breakfast, and reading the Bible together while we eat our Pop Tarts and waffles.

--I don't set an alarm for my kids. Unless we have to be somewhere in the morning, I don't even wake them up in the mornings, I just wait for them to wake up. My kids are grumpy if you have to wake them up and that's just not a battle I want to fight right now. I know this will need to change one day as their future employers will expect them to be at work on time and most likely before 10 a.m., but I choose to worry about that another day. Today I am enjoying a few quiet moments in the morning without having to be awake at the crack of dawn, sneaking snuggles, and even sleeping in myself some days!

--I have no lesson plan. I don't look at the school year, plan out what we're doing when, and then carry it out. I tried that. We were all miserable. I had a schedule that was color-coded and timed. And we hated it. We were slaves to it. It had to go. Admittedly, I may have swung too far to the other end and we now have no schedule at all. We have a few routines that we usually do each morning, but they aren't set in stone. We actually do three subjects during breakfast. While they are eating. And I have no idea if they are even paying attention. But, they're pretty smart, so I think we're OK! I usually sit down on Saturday or Sunday evening and copy the pages I'd like to get done for the week (thank goodness my curriculum all has some kind of lesson plans built into them.) I don't write down any assignments until they have actually been completed because, well, why write it and then have to erase it later when we didn't get it, right? It sounds purely chaotic, but for today, it's working for us. Every day is different from the one before and the kids never have any idea what is next. It's the closest thing I get to surprising them!

--To you veteran homeschoolers this will be no surprise, but some days, I don't enjoy homeschooling! Some days I would much rather send them off to school and then head off to a job outside of my house. It just sounds easier. But deep down, I know this isn't true. But sometimes I just crave time to myself, even if it's in my car for just 10 minutes so I can listen to music, sing loudly, and pretend that I sound just like Christy Nockels while I'm belting out Let It Be Jesus.  There have been weeks at a time that it takes everything in me not to just shut down completely, let them watch movies all day, and I take naps and read blogs all day. I mean, a real struggle. It's a wonder we've gotten any school done at all. But, then I remember how fun it has been to be there for some of their biggest moments: learning how to read, getting a math problem they really struggled with, creating silly art pieces, reading their Bible alone for the first time, and so much more. It's so worth it (and teachers, I hope that those moments of victory in your classrooms outweigh the moments of frustration and defeat.)

--My kids watch movies. The Magic School Bus counts as science. Mr. Peabody and Sherman counts as history. Pretty much all the PBS shows have some kind of math in them. Some days, I just have to. Some days I cannot "school" anymore. It also means that when the teacher is sick, we can still get some school hours in. Or, when the students are sick, we can still get some school hours in. Most days, I feel so guilty about this. I feel like a total bum and loser when I add up the hours I let my kids watch TV or play a game on their tabs. But on days like yesterday, I'm thankful for them. The kids pretty much taught the entire science lesson yesterday on the different ocean zones because of an episode of Wild Kratts they watched the week before. Seriously! They really are learning from their TV shows!

--Time to be honest: I've learned that the only way I get a quiet time in is by forcing my children to have a quiet time at the same time. Oh, how I pray this doesn't make them hate reading God's word. I've done my best to make it exciting and fun for them, but for 30 minutes every morning we each go to our own rooms with our own Bibles and have quiet time. Until I started doing this there was no consistency at all with my quiet times. I hope to work up to a longer time at some point, but today, I am thankful for the 30 minutes it's giving me each day in the Word by doing things this way.

--I love to read. I love books. I have two children home with me all day and can hardly find 5 free minutes for reading. Enter read alone time for 30 minutes each afternoon. Each of us go to our own room and read, whatever we want, for 30 minutes. This is genius! Why didn't I think of this before! I look so forward to this time every day. Sometimes it doesn't happen until almost dinner time, but it's still one of my favorite parts of the day!

--One of the hardest things for me, though, has nothing to do with homeschooling. I am sure many of you out there have this trouble: putting your kids in God's hands and leaving them there, trusting that He loves them more than I do and wants only the best for them. Trusting that, as much I ache for their salvation, it doesn't compare to God's desire to see them come to Him. There's nothing better that I can do for them than teach them Jesus, live Jesus in front of them, make God and His Word as real as possible to them, and trust that God will do what only God can do, change their hearts and lives.

Father, help me to be the wife, mother, and teacher You would have me to be. Help me to point my children to You at all times. Give me wisdom and grace for each day. Remind me that there's no such thing as perfection, which means that I must trust in and lean on You alone. Father, help me to see the joy, laughter, and gift of each day You give me. Help me to breathe deeply of You love, mercy, and grace that I may then breathe that out into my house as I seek to serve my family and You. Oh, Father, do great things in my house, in our school, and in our lives!

A Prayer for Our School Year

Oh, Lord, as we begin another year in this homeschooling journey, please lead and guide. Give me wisdom to know what to say and when. Help me to know when to move on and when to work harder. Give me a thirst for knowledge and for sharing knowledge. Lord, help me to make everything we learn and study point to You. Bless this time with my children and use it to draw us closer to each other and closer to You. Help me to be organized and flexible, ready to teach and ready to slow down and enjoy each moment. Give me creativity and energy for each new day. Help me to be consistent with time on my own in the word and exercise, as both will help me to be more focused and be a better servant to my children and family. Lord, let them see You in all I say and do. Give me wisdom to answer their questions and help me to always point them to You.

Give my kiddos a thirst for knowledge. Let everything we study draw them closer and closer to You each day. Soften their hearts to Your word and Your ways. Give them an excitement for each new school day. Use our obedience to Your call to homeschool to see their need for You in their lives. Grab their hearts. Change their lives. Help them to see their need for You alone as Lord and Master in their lives.

Lord, grant us laughter, even in the midst of tears over math or language arts. Let me see the gift they are even on days when they struggle and argue. Help us to see every teaching moment and to make the most of it that they may see You in us and in the world around them. Help all four of us to love each other and others well. Show us how we can pour ourselves out for those around us. Help me to follow my children's example to reach those outside of our house walls. Don't let me squash those impulses when they rise in my children.

Draw Sophie to You! Draw Ethan to You! Change their hearts and lives for eternity and equip them to serve You, even from such a young age. Help Kevin and I to be sensitive to Your leading and to the things You are doing in their hearts. Help us to not dwell on the negative, but to look for the small ways they bear Your image and that You are speaking to their hearts. Help us to encourage them and train them in the way they should go. Guide us as we teach them Your word and help them to hide it in their hearts. Bring back to their minds scriptures they have learned in the past that they may draw closer to You and understand more about You through Your word.

Lord, move, lead, and guide us through this school year. Bring laughter and joy to our hearts as we draw closer to You and closer to each other. May all we do honor and glorify You alone!

Year Number 4, Here We Come!

I can hardly believe it, but this will be our 4th year of homeschooling this year!  Sophie will be in 3rd grade and Ethan in kindergarten, so it's the first year of full-on, full-time school for both.  Yikes!  I'd be lying if I said I wasn't more than a little nervous!  But, I am so thankful that God has given me some amazing friends, both other homeschoolers and seasoned teachers with great ideas, to keep me going and help me be creative. My two kiddos are so different when it comes to how they learn and what they enjoy. I am praying I can keep up with both of them and keep it fun so they continue to enjoy learning.

A few things that have been going through my head:
-I think I am almost as nervous in year number 4 as I was in year number 1. If things don't go well there's nowhere else to place blame. The buck stops here!
-I have become a curriculum/book junkie. It is not good for the budget, which makes me thankful for yard sales and second hand stores so I can find some fun reading books. I am also thankful for the library!
-Homeschooling has tested and grown me in ways I never imagined. I feel so inept for this task and can only do it with God's strength and guidance. Prayer is so essential!
-Thankful for our home school group, HAHE. We have some great ladies willing to share advice and the kids really love the classes. Looking forward to some new adventures with that group this year.
-I think I have learned more in the four years we've been on this journey than I learned in all my years of school. I love learning alongside my kids each day.  It's so fun! It has also created a love of learning in me that wasn't really there before we started this journey.
-There's nothing quite like that moment things click and your child starts reading. I am a little jealous of those kindergarten teachers that get to experience this on a large scale each year. Reading is essential for everything else, so what a moment when they finally get it.
-I do, however, have a lot to work on as a teacher. Our virtually non-existent schedule needs some tweaking, I need to be better at preparing in advance, and I need to be willing to do more of the complicated experiments and projects. I need to be more consistent with waking and getting exercise done in the mornings so I can have more energy to start my day.

Lord, thank You for this calling on our family. It's not easy and it's not cheap, but it is what is best, at least for now, for our family. Help me to see it as a blessing each day. Help me to be prepared and eager to start each day. Lord, move in me and my children during this school year that we may see You in all we do an study.

James-Week 1

We finished our first week of James!  We took this week off to learn and study the month's Family Quest verse, which we will do every month, so this will take us awhile!  I am excited to say that we all memorized the verse!!!  I'll admit that I am not sure any of us will be able to quote the whole book at one time when we're done, but I pray that God will bless the time and effort we put into studying and memorizing His word.  I pray that as my children grow older they will remember these words and put them into practice.  More than anything, I pray that God will use the scriptures they memorize to reveal to them their need for a relationship with Him!

I am so thankful this week for a sovereign God who reveals just how sovereign He is in even the smallest ways.  I was so blessed this week as our family got to see God weaving His scripture and history together as part of what we were learning in James was laid out in our history lessons.  In James, we saw that the Jews were persecuted for their beliefs and scattered by that persecution.  In history, we looked at both those doing the persecuting and those being persecuted.  We were able to see just what it meant and cost those early believers for their faith in Christ.  It was a joy to spend time in prayer for those Christians still persecuted today. 

Lord, thank You for leading and guiding.  This is not an easy road (and we've already lost the first page of one of our memory "books"), but You were evident in each day's learning, both in scripture and other areas.  Thank You for confirming not just the James study, but the decision to homeschool this week, as well.  Thank You for calling me to hard things so that You might be honored, glorified, and known deeper.

What School Looks Like in Our House

So, now that I've shared with you how I hope to turn October into a month all about others, I'll write a post that's all about me (OK, my family, too!)

There is no typical day in our house.  If Larinee Dennis or Tomi Lowes or Courney Janes or Jess Corkern or the other myriad of amazing teachers I know ever came to observe a day of school for us, they would run screaming after the first 5 minutes and probably never allow me to write another Family Quest lesson or teach anywhere ever again!!!  Ok, it may not be that bad, but it's pretty close.

See, I have a problem.  (Admitting it is the first step, right?) When there is a schedule, I follow it to a tee!  I mean, no deviation is allowed, by me or anyone else.  Times are set in stone and I live by the mantra "10 minutes early is on time, on time is late, and late is unacceptable." (Though my husband would probably tell you I think an hour early is on time!)  When I have a schedule, everyone in the house is miserable because I just can't bring myself to loosen up with it.  It's a sickness, it really is.

So, the first year of homeschooling was pretty hard on both Sophie and I because I had a schedule for school and there was no messing with the schedule.  It's amazing either one of us survived, really. The second year I loosened up and instead of having a schedule with times included, it was just the order in which the subjects would be done everyday.  Yeah, that wasn't any better.  Don't get me wrong, we had some great days and I did loosen up and go with the flow much more, but it still was pretty frustrating most days.  I mean, one of the perks of homeschooling is that you are more free to go and do things, see people, and just enjoy the world around you and the amazing family God has given you, right?  Well, there wasn't a lot of that happening because I was still refusing to let go of the "schedule."

This year, things are changing.  I am working really hard at being flexible with the hope that God will open more doors for the kids and I (and Kevin when his schedule allows) to serve others, even if that means during the day or what would normally be school hours.  To do this, I have a new system, one that will most likely make you cringe.  Each child has their own weekly binder divided by subject:

 

 

On Saturday or Sunday I go through the lessons that are coming up that week, make a list of whatever supplies we will need, and pull out all worksheets to place them in the binder under the appropriate subject.  The binder is basically what I want to accomplish before the week is over, however that has to happen.  I try not to do school on Fridays, so we do our best to get it all done in 4 days.  Of course, lots of things come up, but I think it will work.  We've been doing school for 2 weeks and both weeks have gone well using this format.

 

Of course, each day looks a little different.  I try to be up by 6:30 (which is sleeping in for most of you, but I have tried to be up before that, and it isn't a good idea for anyone involved, trust me!)  I start with prayer and devotion time.  I let the kids wake up on their own (that's best for all involved, too!)  While I wait for them to get up, I take care of the dishwasher or laundry or whatever I can that isn't too noisy.  Once the kids are up, I get them breakfast (admittedly, it's usually cereal or toast, occasionally eggs or bacon or something much more "domestic".)  Once that's done, E gets in the shower while Sophie makes her bed and does her quiet time.  When he's done, then Sophie gets in.  She showers, gets dressed and practices her piano.  While she is doing all that, I do all of E's school with him.  (He just works better without her around.)  Once done with her piano, Sophie heads downstairs and we start school with her.  I usually let her choose what she wants to do first.  E just plays, either upstairs or in his room, while she does school.  Once her individual work is done, then I do science and history with both of them together.  I try to get all of this done before lunch, if possible.  I'll admit, sometimes we only accomplish that because I push lunch off until we're done. That's what snacks are for, right?

 

Of course, in between each lesson, I have E stand up and jump, or run to the TV and back, or do somersaults, whatever I can to let him get some energy out so he can get focused again on what we need to do.  Sophie gets about 5 minutes between each lesson to play, jump rope, go outside, whatever she wants.  That helps both of us to stay focused and not get frustrated. I usually give them 45 minutes to an hour for lunch, then it's to their rooms for about 45 minutes to an hour.  Sophie has to spend 30 minutes reading on her own or out loud to E.  For the rest of the time they can play, as long as they do so upstairs and quietly. That's usually the time I fold laundry or do the cleaning downstairs.  Another confession, that's sometimes the time I take a nap.  Yes, a nap.  Some days, that is just a necessity if we all still want to be alive at the end of the day! After that, who knows what we will do for the day.  Sometimes we read books, other times we run errands or meet up with friends or take a walk.

 

I am sure that was more info than you cared to know, but there you go, anyway!  Praying that God will use this new "schedule" to both enhance our learning and allow us to serve more.  Lord, mold our hearts to be more like yours.  Use what they are learning in school to draw them to You and to help them see that Your hand is in everything, from creation to math to the words we use.  Draw their hearts to You through all we do and in spite of our shortcomings!

 

Here are just a few more shots of our school area and what we're up to this year:

 Sophie's spelling/vocabulary work

 E's daily calendar notebook

 Did I mention I have given up writing out lesson plans?  Well, I have...so here's what I do...I have a notebook handy where I write down what we're doing as we do it, then I enter it all into the computer at the end of the day.  Yeah, not an education major, can you tell?

 This is Sophie's shelf.  I am using the suggestion from the book The Well-Trained Mind to keep their completed work in labeled binders that I can pull out at any time to see the progress they've made or review anything we've studied.

 E's shelf.

Where Am I?

That's kind of how I feel at the moment.  I feel torn and pushed in so many directions, that I am not always sure just where I am.  My heart longs to be in one place with God, yet I constantly seem to be in another, not sure where I should go or what I should do.  How do I accomplish what my heart so much wants?  How do I become the wife, mother and person that I know God has called me to be?  How do I get from here to there?  Though I find myself "stuck" much of the time, not knowing what to do or where to go, I am thankful for those brief glimpses of proof that I am growing, moving, and "getting it" at times.  Beth Moore, Jen Hatmaker or Ann Voskamp I will never be, but that's OK because that is no who God has called me to be.  He has called me to be Heather McSmith, wife, mother, teacher, hard worker, and servant to as many people as I can while on this earth.  Do I have all the answers as to how I am supposed to serve, no, and I don't think that I ever will.  I must remain awake, open, and willing to do whatever He asks whenever He asks.  Here are just some random thoughts on the summer, so far:

--A month without TV was not as difficult for me (or the kids...Kevin was a different story) as I thought.  God allowed me to use that time to study His word, prepare lessons for our church to use in Family Quest, read with my children, and just enjoy uninterrupted time with my husband and children.  I don't think we'll ever go 100% no TV or anything, but we'll be cutting back and using that time to love on each other and others as best we can.

--I am so thankful that though friends may be far away, they are still friends.  I am thankful for Skype so I can see their faces and emails so we can send prayer requests and silly thoughts.  I am thankful for Facebook, which allows me to still feel like a part of their lives.  I am also thankful for all these things when friends who are near go on vacation!!!  I know it probably shouldn't be, but email and Facebook are a lifeline to me, even with friends who live just across town, in this crazy, child-rearing time of my life.  If I didn't have those, I seriously think I would end every day by sitting down and crying!

--I am so thankful that I have the opportunity to home school.  Now, hear me out, I don't think it's for everyone (though I will admit that I wish everyone could home school just for a semester--you'd understand your kids better and you'd be much more sympathetic to their teachers), but it is what God has called us to do at this time.  God has used this to teach me so much!  First, I never even came close to understanding how selfish I am until I started homeschooling.  If a project took too much work on my part, then I just didn't do it.  It didn't matter if it would help the kids learn, I didn't want to take the time.  Yeah, teaching isn't my gift!  Second, I have learned so much about my kids, how they learn, how they think, etc.  I have been able to see God's handiwork in such a different way by being their teacher. (I am sure all you teachers out there have known all these things for awhile.  You get to experience these joys times like 20 everyday!  Of course, you also experience the bad times 20, so I guess it evens out!) What joy it is to watch them read for the first time or figure out a math problem for the first time!  Third, I've learned that if I will just rely on God, I will be far more capable of things than I ever thought possible.  I mean, really, me digging into the Word and history and science and teaching it to someone else?  I never would have dreamed it was possible, so I know it was all from God!  Last, I learned a whole new level of love and respect for those teaching outside of the home.  You guys, seriously, they don't even earn a fraction of what they're worth!  Lesson plans, projects, grading papers, field trips, it's all overwhelming for just 2 students, I have no idea how you do it for 25-30.  And without parental help?  That's amazing!  Hats off to all of you who get up everyday and do all you can to be salt and light in the dark world of public education.  You are warriors on one of the most important battlefields and protecting the most important assets on the planet, and no one gets it.  I know without a shadow of a doubt, I could not do what you do!  (Thankfully, God has not asked me to!)

--So, I have to admit, I sat and cried at the pool the other day.  Kevin was with me and we were talking and I just started crying.  Like weeping and sobbing.  It was a little embarrassing.  I had my sunglasses on, so I'm hoping no one else noticed, but I am guessing they were all just being polite and trying not to stare at the crazy lady!  It made me so thankful for a husband willing to put up with all my craziness, love me anyway, and pour out wisdom when it's most needed.  I was feeling very overwhelmed with insecurity and failure, and he said and did just what I needed at the time.  He is such a gift from God to me.  My heart so desperately wants to look in the eyes of each of those unadoptable orphans and tell them they have a Father who loves them more than they can imagine, I want to hug them, hold their hands, sing with them, laugh with them, just pour into them...but that door just isn't being opened right now.  And I have to admit that it's most likely because I am not even willing to care for the widow down the street.  If I can't do that, why would He trust me with more?  How will my kids every learn to love and sacrifice for others if they don't see it in me?  I don't want to live for me, I want to live for Him, to serve Him and serve and love on His people.  Why is that so hard to do?  Lord, mold me and shape me into the person You desire me to be so that You will receive glory.  Show me how to love those around me.  Show me how to serve those around me selflessly that they might see You through me.  Give me strength and boldness to reach out to my neighbors consistently.  Lord, help!

--As Kevin and I were talking the other day we really wanted to think of something that we could sacrifice as a family, that would affect all of us, that we could in turn use to help others.  We couldn't think of anything.  Not because we have so little that there was little to give, but because when we started thinking of it, none of it was really a sacrifice.  We wouldn't have to go without food or shelter or clothing or anything of true importance in order to help others, either here or around the world.  We were blown away by how blessed and spoiled we are.  Lord, I don't know why You have chosen to give us so much, but please show us how we can turn around and give it right back to You, to be used for Your Kingdom, so that many may come to know You.

Pure Randomness

Yeah, the title pretty much says it all!  My brain feels like it's been going 100 miles an hour lately and so much is happening there that I just can't keep everything straight!

--No TV June is going well, though we have declared a few "special days" and watched a show or two.  Our anniversary was one of those days.  The kids were with grandma, so we said they could watch a movie when they spent the night.  There wasn't anything on at the movie theatre that we both wanted to see, so we decided to watch something at home...and save money at the same time!  We also had a family movie night one night, which was lots of fun!  Today is my nephew's 13th birthday and the kids tried to convince me we should celebrate this special day with some TV, but they failed in their attempts.

--Some days I feel so jealous when I read about and see people headed out all over the world to serve God and others.  I want to join them.  I want my feet in the read earth of Uganda, I want to love on those sweet orphans in Romania, I want to have spas for street children in Haiti, I want to go to the ends of the earth to love on others so they can know the love of Christ.  I want my whole family to go with me.  I want to serve the least of these in forgotten lands as a family.  I want to see my children loving on orphaned children, playing stick ball in the street with the homeless.  But I know that were I to be doing those things right now, it would be disobedience.  Why is that so hard to swallow?  Why is it so hard to be the one who stays here and serves those at home?  Probably because I could serve for a week or two at the ends of the earth, and never see those people again, but here, I must face them everyday.  Here, they must see the real me, cluttered, frazzled, and having no idea what I am doing most of the time.  And I have to be OK with that.  I have to be real, not put on a mask, no fake smile, no half-hearted grins.  Real laughter, real tears, real messes, real aggravations, real joy, real pain, real life.  I do believe that one day this little McSmith tribe (yeah, totally stealing that from Jen Hatmaker) will step on a plane and end up in some distant land, for at least a short time, but I also know that right now, I must be faithful to the call God has given me now: home, family, and those around me where I am right now.  I must be real, sacrificial, loving, and always about my Father's business.  Lord, help me to be diligent in this.  Help me to be satisfied in You, no matter the location or circumstance.  Make me bold for You in my neighborhood.  Help me to love my neighbors as my own family, willing to sacrifice and move mountains on their behalf, regardless of their response or position.

--(Ok, it's been like 2 days since I started writing this post!) I wanted Ethan to lay down and rest with me a bit after swim lessons today.  He would have none of it.  But, he did sweetly say, "You lay down and rest your eyes and I will read you a book.  All at the same time."  So, that's just what he did.  He read me Another Monster at the End of This Book.  I love how much he loves that book!

--So, I haven't totally given up on the Dukan diet, but I am not completely following it either.  Make sense?  I am using it as a guideline and it has really helped my poor eating habits, but I am not being strict about it.  I would still like to lose 5-8 more pounds, but trying not to freak out about it.  We're working on cutting down the amount of sugar and carbs that we eat (the kids, too, though not as much with the carbs for them...they could both stand to add a little weight.)  This is very difficult as Kevin and I both love, love, love bread and pasta.  I could seriously have only those two things at every meal and be pretty happy!  But, even though it's going slowly, it's going well.

--Started the kettle bell class at church again last night after a year of not doing it.  Oh.My.Word!  I could barely move after just the warm up.  And no, I am not exaggerating!  It's going to be good for me, though, so I am looking forward to the next class.

--So proud of my sweet girl today.  I handed her a card and asked her to write a thank you note to her swim teacher.  She wrote a very nice note and then wrote out John 3:16 at the end.  I totally didn't ask her to do that, she did it on her own, because, "Well, his name is John!"  Love that girl!  Lord, grab hold of her heart and change the world with her giving and sweet spirit.

--Anyone else out there struggle with constant guilt?  Over any and everything?  That is me!  I buy my kids a new shirt or a pair of shoes and I feel so guilty, regardless of how much they might need them, because there are so many kids out there who have neither of those things, old or new.  Where's the balance?  I want to live a sacrificial life. I want my kids to live sacrificial lives.  My I also want to love on and provide for my children.  Lord, help me to see the line between need and want, providing and lavishing. 

Lent-Week 2

What a week this second one has been!  It'll be a bit longer this time and not really in the form of updates...oh, and some pics!  (And don't forget to check out the post before this one so you can see Sophie and Daddy playing their first duet!)

Day 8:
Kevin is home!  He is such a blessing!!!  We didn’t get any school done today, but we had a great time visiting with friends, making cards for daddy, and snuggling on the couch.  Wednesday is one of my favorite days of the week.  We get to enjoy family quest together, then Kevin and I get to enjoy choir, orchestra, and band rehearsal.  We are so blessed with such talented people in our church.  And I so enjoy my time with them on Wednesdays and Sundays. 

Ethan was able to say the 10 Commandments tonight at church. I am so proud of him.  Memorizing doesn’t come quite as easily to him as it does Sophie and he worked really hard to learn them.  Sophie and I learned the first three verses of the last chapter of the Sermon on the Mount this week.  I am so proud of how well she is doing with this.  Lord, help these verses to stay with her throughout her life.  Use them to draw her to You and bring those verses to mind anytime she is struggling or doubting. 

Day 9:

What a fun day today has been.  The snow is beautiful and so fun to play in!  In fact, we had so much fun, I kept thinking today was Friday!!  What a fun, sweet, winter day full of family, games, books, sleds, and chicken tortilla soup.

 

Sophie and I made scripture cookies today.  It was a recipe I found on Pinterest awhile back.  You had read the scripture verses and fill in the blanks to find out the ingredients.  It made oatmeal raisin cookies, which aren’t our favorite, but it sure was a fun experience.  It was really neat to see that she already knew several of the verses and was able to finish them correctly before we looked them up and read them together.

 

Day 10:

I made doughnuts from scratch today.  They weren’t too bad, but tasted a little yeasty.  The glaze turned out pretty well, too.  Ethan ate almost all of them himself, so they couldn’t have been too bad!  Making them was pretty fun because Ethan helped me.  He said, “Mom, I want you to teach me how to cook.”  It was so cute and such a fun time with just the two of us.

I have a great husband.  He shoveled our driveway and his mom’s driveway.  It looks great out there.  Sure am glad it didn’t snow until after he came home.  I could not have shoveled all that!

A combination of something one of my dear friends said to me on the phone the other day and something I read yesterday really had me thinking.  My friend was commenting on how I am a person who can only stand being around others for so long, then I need some time, even if it’s just 30 minutes, alone in order to recharge.  That is so true!  I just go on overload if I don’t get some alone time each day.  Of course, this isn’t all that easy when you’re a stay at home, homeschooling mom!  But, as I was reading a book on raising girls the other day, the author was making a point that each child is different.  The illustration she was using was that she and her son could be three stories apart, but both reading a book, and to him that quality time doing something together.  For her daughter, if they weren’t right next to her doing the same thing, it didn’t count as spending time together.  This was a huge eye opener to me for how Sophie thinks.  We will have spent most of the day at the school table or on the couch working on our school work and projects and then she’ll come to me asking if we can do something together.  I’m thinking, “Do something together?  We’ve been doing something together all day.  I just need ½ an hour to myself!” But, reading that book helped me realize that to her, the time spent doing school doesn’t count to her as time spent together.  It’s just school!  But, because I am one who needs to spend more time alone than with people, anytime not alone counts as together time.  I have to work really hard and be really intentional about spending time with her so that she feels loved and cared for at all times.  Lord, help me to be sensitive to this and desire to be more intentional about my time with Sophia.

Day 11:

What a fun, lazy day this was!  Kevin took the kids to have doughnuts and visit grandma for a bit.  This gave me a chance to do some cleaning, have a good quiet time, and work some more on the James devotions.  It was a much needed break.

We also had fun sledding out at the hill by the city pool.  That place never disappoints!  The hills were pretty fast and we even made it all the way to the fence a few times.  Then, we had the pleasure of heading out for an evening of bowling and dinner to celebrate the birthday of a sweet friend.  Lots of fun had by all!!!

 

Day 12:

Today was a hard day to not be on facebook.  My grandfather had a bad diabetic episode this morning, and I would have loved to have been on there to send out the prayer request and to thank his neighbor for being willing to help him.  He seems to be OK now, but they are still watching him closely hoping that they have worked out the insulin issues.

Have I said lately how much I enjoy the children’s choir musical?  I love that it’s pretty much all scripture and I love hearing those kids sing it over and over.  And they sing with such joy!  Can’t wait to share it with the church on Mother’s Day!

Sophie and Kevin playing their first piano/guitar duet today.  Jingle Bells never sounded so sweet to me!

Day 13:

What a crazy day today!  But, we sure had fun!!!!  Kevin and Ethan had a daddy/son day building a coat rack for Grandma.  Ethan had so much fun sanding the wood, staining it, and then drilling all the holes.  Of course, daddy helped!  Sophie and I picked up Grandma and headed out for some shopping so we would be prepared for being shut in during the big storm headed our way!  We did get a little school done, but not much.  But, I think the fun and the quality time spent together was better than school any day!

We also were able to purchase some gifts for Ben and Megan to take to the orphanage when they go next week.  Sophie and I had a lot of fun picking out little treats for the kids.  I think Sophie would have put everything she saw in the cart if we could have afforded it or fit it in the car!

We kicked off our recycling tonight with a little party at the Humiston’s!  Not sure Ethan really caught on, but Sophie is excited.  I just hope it doesn’t take me too long to remember that things go in the recycle bin, not the trash.  I am very excited about this new way to worship God by caring for the world He so lovingly made and gives to us to care for each day.

 

Day 14:

Well, it’s 5:15 a.m. and I cannot sleep.  But, what beauty I got to see out the window because I couldn’t sleep!  Lord, thank you for snow.  Thank You for its beauty.  Thank You that it ushers in new life.  Thank You that it’s so fun to play in!!!! 

Also, since I am up, I’ll bring Grandpa Gene, Grandma Dorothy, mom, Aunt Jeanette and Aunt Karen to You.  Lord, let them feel Your arms around them.  Show Yourself as the God who Heals.  You alone are the great physician.  Restore his mind, restore his blood sugar levels, pour out Your peace on the others.  Give sleep and true rest as we all trust in You.

Comparison is the thief of joy!

Oh, how this is so true...especially for women.  I have no idea why that little junior high girl in all of us never truly dies.  It seems no matter how hard I try, I just can't kill her!  I find myself constantly feeling left out, not having as many friends or invites as others, and just wanting what everyone but me seems to have (even when I can't put my finger on just what it is I think they have that I don't!)  And man, does Satan use that to destroy women.  Facebook, twitter, pinterest, and instagram have made many women instant enemies, without ever meeting or saying a word to one another, simply by seeing the life someone else seems to have and yours looking bad in comparison.  Why do we do this?!?!?!  And I am just as bad as the next person.

I think one of the biggest lies Satan has sold Christian women is that there is a battle between stay-at-home moms and working moms or between homeschooling moms and public school moms.  But you know what?  The only battle there is the one Satan created.  Something God has really burdened me about is trying to find a way to cross that line that seems to have been drawn in the sand between these groups.  God has really laid on my heart that it's not always the amount of time you spend with your husband and children, but what you choose to do with that time.  Even though I am with my kids 24/7, this is still so convicting to me.  Many times I get to the end of the day, look back over all we've done, and realize I wasted pretty much every teachable moment I was given.  I brushed aside many chances to just love on my kids and enjoy their laughter and smiles.  I missed precious moments to spend time in the word with my kids, not because those moments weren't there, but because I chose not to use them.

Homeschool or public school?  You know what, that is your choice and something you will have to pray about for your family.  It was a very tough decision for us, but the path the Lord was asking us to take was very clear.  To choose to send our children to the public school would have been disobedience and we all would have been miserable.  However, I know many amazing families who had the same struggle, but God called them to go to public school, and to choose homeschooling would have been disobedience and they all would have been miserable!  When it comes to this, for some reason, very heated topic, let me encourage you: seek the Lord and follow Him in obedience.  Don't compare.  Don't worry what others will think.  Obey.  You, and those around you, will see the fruit of your obedience.

When it comes to the other heated topic among Christian women/families, staying at home or working, I can only give the same advice.  Pray and obey!  There is no "one right answer" for every family.  And I can't tell you how many times I have just wanted to go back to work where I could feel useful and much less chaotic.  But, for me, our whole family was miserable while I was working (and only part-time at that) because I just can't walk away and leave work at work and focus on my family when I am at home.  Not taking care of my family is blatant disobedience to God's word (don't even have to pray about that one!), so I knew something had to go.  It was either the job or the family...so of course, the job had to go!  But, that's me and that's my family.  That may not be what God has for you.

I truly hope that I have never made anyone feel bad or wrong for their decision, one way or the other, on homeschooling/or staying at home.  That was honestly never my intention.  I am just trying to share our journey as honestly as I can so that it might encourage someone else (not really because what I do is so great, but because it's just an honest family doing their best to obey God in all things).  I know that I am encouraged by both those who have made the same decisions as us and those who haven't, when I see the great times they have with their family and the creative ways they share their faith and the Gospel with their children. 

Lord, give each of us a clear direction as to where you would have our families go.  And don't allow us to compare or "be that girl" when it comes to seeing others in their walk of obedience.  Help us to love each other and be great sources of love and encouragement to one another!

Another Week Has Flown By

Seriously, where does the time go?  And how does it go from like 100 degrees to 60 in a matter of 24 hours?  Ok, maybe it didn't happen that quickly, but it sure seemed like it!  Though, I have to admit, I love the fall weather.  I love watching the leaves change.  It serves as such a beautiful reminder of the sheer awesomeness (is that word?) of God's design in creation.  It also serves as an amazing reminder that God, and God alone, changes times and season!  He makes all things beautiful in His time!

I think that last part is the hardest: in His time!  Those who know me know that if there is one thing I am not, it's patient (which really helps with the whole homeschooling, thing!  Not!).  I just want things to go according to my plan and my schedule...I mean, that's why we have plans and schedules, right?  Ha!  Very much learning that, though God is a God of order and control, it's His order and His control that are most important and always perfect...NOT MINE!  Every day seems like a new lesson!

This home school adventure has been just that, an adventure!  It is sooooo many things all wrapped into one: fun, crazy, frustrating, rewarding, annoying, a joy, and so many other things.  But, I truly do cherish all the time that it has given me with both kiddos.  And I love being able to show her God in each subject (the book of Numbers is proof that God is even in math, right?  ;) ).  Most of all, I have loved getting see her learn her scriptures.  Not sure that she's really taking them to heart, yet, but Kevin and I pray every day that one day God will bring it all together in her heart!

It's also been so fun having Ethan around while we do school.  I won't lie, there are days he's more of a distraction than anything, but it really is a blessing having him there.  It is so fun listening to him repeat everything he hears us say, all while playing and never even looking in our direction!  Of course, that's pretty scary, too, knowing he's listening even when we have no idea he is!  Sure makes us think twice about what we say!!!!

Another exciting part of homeschooling for me has been watching Kevin teach Bible.  We bought a book for this year, Telling God's Story: Year One Meeting Jesus.  It is walking us through the parables, Jesus' miracles, and many other moments of Jesus' life here on earth so we can learn who He truly is.  On Monday, Kevin reads us the Bible story and then explains it and shows us how it still affects our life today.  He does such a great job at this!  I love watching his interactions with Sophie as he is explaining God's word to her!  Then, the other days of the week Kevin does a brief review of what we learned and I lead them in an activity that will help us remember what we've learned.  Ethan is still a bit young for several of the activities, but he hangs in there anyway, most of the time.

Overall, I am reminded more and more how blessed I am and how much love God lavishes on me and my family every day!  Here are some pics of just a few of the amazing gifts God has given the McSmith family:

A little of this, a little of that...and lots of gifts in between

Well, August is over.  How is that even possible?  Time has really flown by this year!!  Of course, I am pretty sure I say that every year...every month...every week...every day!

We've finished just a little over three weeks of school and logged a little over 100 hours.  Most days have gone pretty well, but we've had a few rough spots.  Every now and then Ethan decides that he need to have whatever it is Sophie is trying to do and Sophie decides she needs to do whatever it is Ethan is doing.  It's in those moments I try and take a deep breath, set the timer for 5 minutes, and let them fun free until the timer the goes off!  Overall, though, it's been a great experience and I am so glad that we were obedient, despite some doubt on our part (ok, mostly my part).  I will admit, it has greatly increased my prayer life, for me, my kids, and for all those working so hard to serve Christ in the public school system.  In those rough moments when there is no obedience, I thank God I only have one and pray for those who have a whole classroom of that everyday!  God has truly gifted you and called you to a very difficult task!  I'll be praying for you!

Sophie did her first Venn diagram this week.  We started reading The Wonderful Wizard of Oz and we are comparing the book to the movie.  She is really enjoying that.  Pretty sure it's her favorite movie and she can hardly let me get the sentences out before pointing out how the book doesn't match the movie on a certain point.  I am amazed at how smart she is and how much smarter she gets every day.  I know it's not from her teacher, but just the way God is molding and shaping her. 

Last week we started giving her the Tab each morning so she could listen to one chapter of the Bible each day.  She wants to do that before she does anything else in the morning, though it may have more to do with getting to use the Tab than reading the Bible, but I am clinging to the truth that God's word will not return void!  She gets 5 or so minutes each morning, in her room alone, and listens to a chapter (we started her in John), then she comes out and we talk about what she "read".  Can't wait until she can read well enough to read it on her own. 

I am also amazed at all that Ethan has started doing in the last 2 or 3 weeks.  His speech is now so clear and you can just see the wheels turning in that little head.  He can count to 10 and do his ABC's to "G" (when he feels like it, of course).  He has enjoyed learning sign language, though again, he'll only do it when he feels like it.  "Red" is his fave sign so far.  He's doing really well learning shapes.  I can't help but laugh, though, because any time he sees a shape he doesn't know, he just says it's an octagon.  Why he chose that of all shapes, I don't know, but it's cute!  It's also so cute that he'll sit at the table with us doing school and repeat everything I say to Sophie, or repeat all the letters as she is spelling a word or something.  I hope they both always enjoy learning as much as they seem to now!

That's already a pretty long list of gifts, but I'll share a few more from the last week:

--days spent as a family
--evenings with nothing on the calendar
--trips to the lake with sweet friends
--time to step away when I'm frustrated
--Redbox
--popcorn
--watching Sophie as she listens to the Bible
--sweet smiles from Ethan when he wakes up in the morning
--watching God provide for dear friends as they continue to place their trust in Him
--seeing God's hand move in so many areas at our church
--reading books snuggled up on the couch with the kiddos
--trips to the library
--a car full of children
--having hope in eternal life when things on earth don't go as we expect
--rain
--the beauty if lightning
--Veggie Tales
--Brother and Sister playing and fighting together