That first year we were looking at celebrating his birthday without him, I just wasn't sure what to do. It came just shy of two months after he died and I wasn't sure if there had been enough time to really decide the best thing to do. But, I knew deep down, that whatever we did that year would be what we would do every year after that. So it felt like a huge, important decision.
I googled ideas. I looked on Pinterest. I searched and prayed and pondered. Then I just decided I wanted to do something that he loved to do. But I don't play guitar, so I knew anything like that was out! I am not sure where the idea came from, but it was part honoring him by doing something he loved doing and Isaiah 58 ringing in my ears (even though I knew we wouldn't be fasting from anything, the thought of what we do benefiting others was screaming loudly.) I can't tell you how I came to it, but I decided I wanted to bless others with fun gifts they weren't expecting. Oh, how Kevin loved doing that. He was so good at finding just the right gift that was the perfect balance between practical and spoiling. That's what we have tried to do, too.
The first year, a sweet friend wrote me the most amazing poem and we chose mailboxes at HLGU (that's where Kevin and I met) and put gift cards/notes in their boxes. We also went downtown and left some notes/gift cards on random cars. The next year we left little gifts in random HLG mailboxes (it works really well that his birthday is always close to finals week) and, because it was raining, we dropped some gifts in HLGU professor's boxes.
This year, we're heading back to HLGU and then downtown, again. Oh, how I hope this is something they will continue to do every year. Even after they move out of my house. Even after I am long gone. That they will take this day, each year, and remember what a gift their Daddy was to them and what a gift-giver he was and do the same for others. I hope they just forget what March 10 stands for and always look ahead to April 28.
I hope you know that I don't say any of this to draw attention us. Rather, I hope to accomplish two things. First, that if you have a loved one that you don't know how to honor them or celebrate one of the big days, maybe this is something you can do. Choose to give to something or someone in their honor. You can donate Bibles. Water. Clothes. Deliver flowers. Gifts. Gift cards. Pay for someone else's meal. So many options. Do something for others in their honor. Secondly, I want to ask you if you would join us on Saturday in what we've come to do every year: choosing joy by blessing. Make a day of choosing joy by choose to bless others, regardless of how hard or lonely you may feel that day. Here's our hashtag if you want to use it: #choosingjoybyblessing.
Here are some pictures of our joy through the years:
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