Surviving Family Day

I chatted with a sweet friend the other day about family days. Why is it that those seem to be the most stressful, argument filled days of the week? Or is that only our house? OK, not every family day is like that, but it does seem like that day, of all days, has a much higher stress level than it should. As she and I were talking, I was able to think of (and thank God for) some of the things we have learned as we attempt to make memories and take time to do things together as a family. We aren't perfect. Some of our days are more "it's the thought that counts" days than "what a beautiful family memory" days, but we learn, grow, laugh, and love each other. I often have to remind myself that while I feel like everyday is family day (because I am with the kids practically 24/7), we aren't together all day every day as a WHOLE family, as Kevin is usually busy working and we're doing school. And as much as I would like it to some weeks, school does not count as family fun day! ;) So, I thought I would compile a list of ideas that we use and that I've seen other families use to make some great memories during family day. Hopefully they will give you hope and inspiration, if needed, to enjoy your family!

1. Be intentional. Let's face it, in this day and age, if you don't put it on the calendar it's not going to happen. We are probably one of the least busy families I know and we are still pretty busy, so I know lots of other families out there are running ragged keeping up with all the schedules in the house. Get a calendar and mark the date. Mark it on your phone. Mark it on your spouse's phone. If you have older children, mark their calendars/phones. It may help to have the same day or night each week so that it's set in stone and everyone one knows there's no doing anything else during that time. The earlier you start this the better it will be when they are older. (Though my children are only 8 and 5, so that's not a real issue for us, yet.)

2. When possible, have no schedule. I know, coming from me this is really weird. However, I have found that when we have a schedule (mainly a TIMED schedule) we all end up rushed and frustrated and that's when the whole thing comes unglued. There are events that you will want to do that will have an obvious time attached (seeing a movie, attending a festival, seeing a theatre production, etc), but many times you can be flexible and just take your time. Once you get used to this it's really quite refreshing, especially if members of your family run on a schedule all week long. It's like a huge breath of fresh air to not be rushing out the door. This works really well for us because our family day is also usually our only rest day for the week and, really, who wants to be rushing around on your day of rest?!?!

3. Don't make things too complicated. Sometimes the simplest things are the most fun. Staying at home having a movie day, game day, silly pictures day, etc, can be just as fun as piling in the car and heading out on an adventure. Again, with the rushed pace of our lives these days, sometimes we (parents and kids alike) just need time to stay in comfy clothes (or even just stay in those jammies all day) and chill out together. There can be just as many laughs in a game of Sleeping Queens (am I showing the age of my children?) as there is in a trip to the movies.

4. Make some traditions you can all look forward to. I find this easiest to do by season. All year long we look forward to the month of October where our goal is to visit a different corn maze every weekend. All four of us love this and have such a good time. (Of course, living in MO, this is easy for us because there are like 50 corn mazes within an hour of us in any direction.) Maybe there is a yearly festival your family can look forward to attending. Apple picking? Pumpkin patches? Theatre productions? Family game nights once a month? It can be anything, really.

5. It's OK to split up for a bit. There have been times this has worked well for us. Sometimes Kevin and Ethan work on a project while Sophie and I do something together and then we switch. Sometimes we will each do a small date with one of the kids and then get together for dinner or something. Admittedly, since we only have two children, this is a little easier for us because it's always one on one when we split up. This might also be a good way to give each of the parents some one on one time with the kids. Mom can take all but one kid while dad has a "date" with the other and you end with family movie night. You can do this until both parents have had a date with each of the kids.

6. Household chores DO count as family time. If you've seen any of my Facebook or blog posts you know how I struggle with getting housework done. And I am home ALL DAY EVERY DAY. I can't even imagine how difficult it is for those who are working to get it all done. So, divide the family into teams, split up the chores, and race to see who can finish first while finishing well. End the cleaning fun with Blizzards or a Root Beer float. This not only get housework done without Mom and Dad doing it all, but it also give you a chance to train your children in how to properly take care of a home. Bonus: you'll probably have some great conversations as you work alongside your kiddos. (Disclaimer: for us, this also means one on one time with our kids, as there are only two of them and two of us.)

7. Do some service together. Part of your job as a Christian parent is to disciple your children. At some point, this must go beyond just book knowledge to stepping out and putting all that you are teaching them into practice. There are so many options out there for serving together that you could probably do a different service project every week all year long!!! Be creative! Have fun!

8. Be on the same page as your spouse. This is also an area where many family days fall apart. Get together BEFORE your planned family day and talk about what you would like to do. Make a plan (though it doesn't have to be super detailed.) Decide ahead of time that, no matter what, you're going to have good attitudes and go with the flow. The kids will have whatever attitude you choose to have, so it's important that you choose wisely.

9. Ladies, let your husband make decisions. I know it seems like this should not need to be said, but ladies, let's admit it, we like to be in control. For many ladies I know it just comes naturally to take charge and go for it. Sometimes this is great, sometimes we need to push that urge aside and defer to our husbands. Most days we moms make the majority of the decisions for the family (what we're having for lunch and dinner, who is taking who to what events, etc). This is a great time to truly work alongside our husbands and let them make decisions on what the family will do. Do this and you'll be amazed at how smoothly things go and how much more loving and confident your husband becomes in other areas.

10. Search out fun things in your area. Thanks to the Internet, you should never be without an option for something to do. From Pinterest to Facebook, the ideas are endless. Want to head out somewhere and actually do something, as on Facebook where other families have gone and had fun. In minutes you'll have hundreds of ideas. Pinterest has all kinds of great project ideas. There's always something going on and somewhere to go, you just have to get up the gumption and do it!

11. Unplug. This one is so hard for me. I love Facebook. And email. And Twitter. And Instagram. One of the biggest blessings God has given us in the last month was our change in phone plan. I cannot do any of those things unless I have a WiFi connection, which has not only saved us $100 a month, but has also forced me to put the phone away and just enjoy being present with my kiddos. I still probably take more pictures than I need to (one thing my husband is always saying, "Put the camera down and just have fun!"), but I've had a lot more laughs and good times with my family since I haven't always had the option to post things RIGHT NOW.

I know there are hundreds of ideas that could be added to this list. So, help fellow families out and share your ideas with us. What do you do to make the most of family time?

Musings

I'll be helping a friend host a yard sale for two sets of missionary families in our church later this spring.  Of course, that means that I now have a reason to clean up around the house and I have a place to send all the stuff we don't need or use.  Pretty much the whole morning was spent cleaning out closets and dressers.  I was almost sickened at  the massive amount of "stuff" we have that just sits around, unused and not needed, yet we hold onto it anyway.  Why?  Why do we even have all this stuff?  Most of it is pointless and was hardly ever, if ever, used.  And sadly, I was the one that bought most of the stuff.  I must stop buying so many "things" that are of no use.  I could do so many other things with the money wasted on that junk. When I got done bagging everything up I felt like I needed to sit down and read 7 again and remind myself that there are far more important things in this life than my comfort or just having more stuff.

Lent.  Been thinking about this off and on for the last week.  I can't believe it's already almost here.  I did not grow up celebrating Lent (and I am not sure you can call what I do now celebrating), but rather, just thinking it was some crazy thing the Catholics did to make their lives a little harder for a few weeks around Easter time.  I am looking at Lent kind of like I look at Advent.  It's a time to put myself aside and intentionally focus more on Christ and what He has done for us.  It's also a time to practice living out Is. 58; a time of fasting that allows me to focus on Christ and drawing near to Him, while also allowing me to give of what He has given me.  Living simply so others can simply live.  This year, for the 40 days of Lent, I will be drinking only water. The kids will help me to keep track of every glass of water I drink (which will not only help them out with their math skills, but will also serve to keep me and the kids accountable to praying for all those in the world with little to no clean drinking water.)  At the end of the 40 days I will make a donation of $.01 for every glass of water I drank during those 40 days to the World Vision Clean Water Fund.  I am praying that God will use those 40 days in a mighty way in my life, the life of my family, and in the lives of those who will be receiving the clean water.

Can I confess something to you?  I feel torn about the snow coming our way this weekend.  I am tired of the cold, but snow is so beautiful.  There's just something almost exciting about a snow storm coming our way...the beautiful snow, the not being able to leave the house, the bundling up and watching movies, reading books, and drinking hot chocolate.  Deep down I love it, I just wish it could happen when it was about 80 degrees instead of below zero!

Lord, thank You for this week, even though it has, at times, felt unbearably long.  Continue to mold and shape me into Your image.  Show me how to love others in Your name at all times.  Show me how to look past my circumstance to see Your faithful hand.

A Little Help From My Friends

I wanted to let you know about an opportunity to help put shoes on the feet of people in Africa, while also providing work for women there, who make the shoes.

As most of you probably know, I hosted a Sole Hope shoe cutting party for my 35th birthday last month.  Sole Hope sent us patterns, we used old jeans and recycled milk cartons to cut out all the pieces that it takes to make the shoes.  These pieces will then be sent to Sole Hope where the women in Africa will be paid to make shoes out of them.  These shoes will be handed to adults and children once they have had the jiggers removed from their feet in hopes that the horrible diseases these bugs cause can be lowered.  Lowering the rate of these foot-related diseases dramatically improves the quality of life for those receiving the shoes.  Check out the pics from my party:

Here is my request: Sole Hope asks that those who host a party send a $10 donation for each pair of shoes that will be made from the patterns they cut out.  My hope was that we would end up with 10 pairs of shoes by the end of the night.  I was blown away when we completed 30 PAIRS OF SHOES!!!!  I am so excited!  Though, this does present me with a dilemma...the cost I need to send with the shoes is more than I was expecting or budgeting for.  The first 20 pairs of shoes have been covered thanks to the ladies who attended the party, monetary gifts I received for my birthday, and donations from some amazing people.  So, I still need the money for the other 10 pairs of shoes.  Would you be willing to donate just $10 for to help a pair of shoes make their way onto the feet of someone in Africa?  If you are willing, drop me an email or Facebook message and I'll get you the information you need to make out a check and my mailing address (if you're from out of town) so I can send the money in with the shoes. 

I feel so blessed to be part of this amazing ministry.  It is so much fun to sit and cut out these patterns.  I look forward to being able to do this as a family in the next few years (the kids are still a bit young to be able to do it correctly, yet.)  Thank you in advance to those who will participate.  We will never truly know the impact these shoes will have on lives there in Africa, from the ladies who will make the shoes, those who will give out the shoes, to those who will receive the shoes.  I just know God will do amazing things!

A Little of this, A Little of That

Well, we are nearing the end of our first TV free week.  I have to say, it hasn’t been too bad.  Of course, the fact that we’ve already been without internet for 2 ½ weeks (which means no Netflix or Amazon Prime) helped us get used to not having a lot of the shows we would normally watch.  And having VBS every night (which is when most of the TV watching happens) has also helped.  God really blessed us with a busy, so therefore fairly easy, first no TV week.  One of the hardest times (and yes, I am admitting my poor parenting skills for the whole world to know) is when the kids eat lunch.  See, I let the kids eat lunch while they watch one of their shows, and then I eat upstairs and read a book.  That, most times, is the only time I have to just sit and read and not feel guilty about not doing the laundry or the dishes, etc.  I have missed that time (because, well, I really like to read), but we’ve been using that time this week to finish up the read aloud portions of our history book, so it hasn’t been a total loss!  One of the things we learned today I was even able to put into the VBS lesson this evening!  Kevin and I usually will watch a show or two after we have put the kids to bed, which I thought would be hard to give up, but I have been so exhausted every night when I got home from VBS that I just fell right into bed and fell asleep.  Again, I am pretty sure that was all by God’s design just to help me make it through this first week!  He is such a loving God who knows just what we need…even when it’s to be totally exhausted by 3 hours singing praises with children!

We still have no internet and I am trying really hard to see the blessing here (other than the one I stated in the previous paragraph…so far that’s really the only one I am seeing!)  I am sure there is a lesson I am to be learning here, and I am pretty sure I am not learning it seeing as how I still can’t see the good in this.  Oh, hey, I just thought of another blessing from this…just another week and a half without internet and I will have saved myself one whole month’s payment!  That’s money that can be used in so many other ways to serve others instead of myself.  Lord, thanks for making the ugly beautiful (especially since this ugly is really nothing in comparison to what others are facing.)

I’ve had a great time at VBS this week.  The songs are fun and catchy (some might even make me a little teary).  The kids are so full of energy!  Man, I will sleep hard come Friday night, for sure!  It has also made me really thankful this week that the Lord has allowed me to see how He has been growing me as a “teacher” (and yes, I use that term VERY LOOSELY in reference to myself!) since I started homeschooling.  A year or two ago, you wouldn’t catch me doing a lick of teaching in any way, shape or form.  This year I had a blast working up a very small, short lesson for Kidz Choir each week for each song we were learning and I had a really fun time reminding the kids of their stories each night as they came to music at VBS.  Now, don’t get me wrong, none of these were stellar lessons and no awards will be given (so thankful that in both cases kindergarten teacher extraordinaire, Megan Craig, was with me to help break down anything that was still a little over the kids’ heads), but even a year ago I couldn’t have done that.  There’s even been once or twice I was able to throw something together kind of at the last minute, which does not happen for this girl!  I don’t improv well on stage and I do an even worse job improving (Is that even a word?  How is it spelled?).  This girl needs a script, yet God has grown me so much in the last two years that I was able to spend an entire week at VBS helping lead opening and closing without one and helping to lead pre-school music without one.  I know this probably seems so small to many of you, but this is huuuuuuuuuuuuuuuge to me!  One, I know that I couldn’t do this at all if we hadn’t stepped out in obedience and started homeschooling where I was forced to do this on a daily basis, and two, so often I just feel like I am getting nowhere when it comes to God.  I feel like I desire to be better and desire to serve more and give more and love more, but yet, nothing ever changes.  This has been such an encouragement that I have changed, but sometimes, those changes take time.  I am still not so great at the whole lesson plan thing, but God has blessed me with being part of the Family Quest team and with the help of those wonderful ladies and the sweet Jess Corkern, I am slowly learning that, too!

Lord, thank You for opening my eyes to Your work in me and around me.  Lord, thank You that You never fail.  Thank You that You never change.  Thank You for being patient and loving, yet You discipline when you need to, all to bring me back to You.  Lord, help me to be more like You as I serve my family as wife and mother, and as I serve others as an ambassador for You. 

Reading for Refugees

 

I wanted to let you know about a program that Sophie will be participating in this summer, from June 1-Aug. 1, and let you know how you can help.  She will be doing the Reading for Refugees program (find information on it here: http://www.hisvoiceglobal.com/?p=2050) created by the missions organization His Voice Global (http://www.hisvoiceglobal.com/).  She has lots of books to choose from as her reading material, but she now needs sponsors who will commit to a PER PAGE price they would like to donate for her reading.  We will keep track of the pages she has read and let you know the total.  The money is due to His Voice by Aug. 15, so those of you who do not live in Hannibal, we will total the pages before Aug. 1 so you would have time to send your check. 

 

I am personally excited about this because it fits in with what our family has been doing the last few months as we have been fasting from some of our excesses and attempting to follow Isaiah 58, which instructs us to use our time of fasting to help others in need.  In June, we will be giving up the TV, so this is the perfect way for us to fulfill Is. 58 while we are not watching television.

 

If you would like to help us with this program, just reply to me and let me know what your PER PAGE READ pledge will be.  (FYI---she's a great reader and loves to read!)  Please do not feel bad if you cannot participate in the financial end of this program, but we would still love to have your prayers!  Thank you so much for thinking of us and for praying for us as we tackle this amazing project.

 

 

It's May Already?!?!?!?!?

Well, somehow May snuck up on us!  How did that happen?  Our house survived birthday month (everyone but me has a birthday in April) and we're moving along toward summer.  Of course, with this crazy weather, it doesn't really feel like it!

As we head into May, we begin the next phase of our "7 Experiment".  This month we are focusing on having Sabbath.  Now, I will admit, we are three days into the month and I still don't feel settled on just how we should make this happen.  I did a study and read some about it and still couldn't come up with an exact "how to" (which if you know me, I LOVE HOW TO LISTS!)  One phrase in my reading really caught me, though, and that is "living Sabbathly."  It's basically the thought that anywhere, anytime you can stop what you are doing and focus on God rather than on the circumstances around you.  You can see and worship God in all that He has placed around you.  Of course, there's also the idea of trying to go a little more schedule free, too.  Living apart from the hassles and busyness this world so craves.  So, unless God directs otherwise, we will be doing our best to take one day a week just to enjoy time as a family, with little to no schedule, and see God in the things around us.  These times might involve family worship through music, studying scripture together, taking a walk at the park, making meals together, not really sure.  But, we will try, for one day a week, to slow down and remove stresses from our lives so that we can see the joy and gift in the family God has given us and in the many other people and things He has placed around us.

I am also planning to continue my 2 "sacred pauses" that I have added to my day.  I so enjoy those, sometimes very short, times of prayer.  God has always given me something specific to thank Him for or pray for in those times.  They are truly a blessing.  I would encourage everyone to try at adding at least one set time of prayer to one of the busiest parts of your day and just see how God uses that in your life!